"You can't judge a book by it's cover."

At some time or another we have heard friends or relatives express this thought with a serious or concerned tone in their voice. To most, this is merely a series of words used to counsel someone who pre-judges individuals and their surroundings. Most of us overlook the under lying meaning of such sayings; we simply choose not to listen for the moral or meaning of the phrase. Instead we merely nod our heads in agreement and pretend to hear what ever is being said to us. It is difficult not to pre-judge people.

For instance, let's say there's a police car at 7-11. You're driving passed and notice a black or Hispanic running from that general area. What are you're first thoughts? Now use the same scenario except the running person is now a well-groomed white man. How do you perceive this situation?

There is a public service announcement which is a good visual example of typical categorization. The advertisement begins with a group of guys talking, high-fiveing, and caring on, displaying that they are comfortable with each others company. They are all wearing paper bags over their heads, concealing their physical appearance. Then they begin to remove the paper bags, and the realization of their differences set in. The single group of guys slowly form into individual groups, according to their color. Once the black and whites establish their individual group, a glaring look of confrontation develops. The announcement closes by asking why can't we all be color blind, and why can't we all get along?

We have all unjustifiably pre-judged individuals, and placed them into categories because of his or her physical appearance, before we have a chance to get to know his or her inner qualities. If we could only stop talking about the many different covers and start reading the books we all have inside us. Peace, love, and the fall of racism would become a reality.

Don't judge the cover before reading the entire book.

An origianl written by Kim Measells

Annoying Commercials

At one time or another, we have had the displeasure of encountering paid advertisements either on the radio, television, and even at our local movie theater. A few of these advertisements can be entertaining and even humorous, but most are incredibly irritating to say the least.

Television exposes us to commercials much more than radio and theaters. Almost everyone is familiar with the Burger King guy constantly going on and on about how much he "LOVES this place," and every comedian has written material on the Life Alert lady, "I've fallen and I can't get up." Why is this lady yelling? She knows there is not anyone around; besides she has the Life Alert device hanging around her neck. Just push the button lady!

Now that was an annoying commercial, but who could forget the wonderful choreography illustrated by the elderly lady (sleeping with the lights and television on) when she wakes to the Jingle Singers bellowing in cadence, "Clap-on...Clap-off...Clap-on clap-off, the clapper."

Radio is also well known for its irritating commercials. As if simply interrupting our favorite tunes is not enough, announcers insist on informing us, with their echoing and tunnel voice effects, when and where the next monster truck race is being held. Better yet, how about the HUB Furniture company? It seems they have advertised for the past two years that this Saturday only will be their store wide clearance sale, but "don't bring money." Fortunately, it is fairly easy to avoid these interruptions we encounter daily via tape players, compact disk players, and simply changing the station.

As if bombarding us constantly with their mini-productions called commercials on our televisions and radio isn't enough, we must now contend with the theaters advertising products before the films; for instance, the advertisement for the AMC Movie Watcher card is not only a cheap, unimaginative commercial, it is also stupid. This length of film is supposed to depict how much these "regular" people enjoy their movie watching experience at AMC. AMC's definition of "regular" is a man wearing a white suit who is on a date with his girl robed in a dinner dress. This must be quite a movie watching experience to go through the trouble of dragging out their best white suit. The real question comes at the end of this advertisement. There is a close-up of a girl's head and then she turns around to reveal that she is wearing sunglasses in the theater. I ask you if it is possible to watch a movie wearing sunglasses? To conclude I am embarrassed to admit that I have an AMC Movie Watcher card.

For the time being, the only solution to dealing with annoying commercials is to keep the remote in hand, the radio close by for easy station flipping, and always arrive late to the movie of your choice.

An origianl written by Kim Measells

The Perfect Shot

While walking along a back road you glance to the right and notice, through a barrier of trees, a beach; obviously beaten by the whitecaps of the blue green ocean. Upon the horizon the sun, burning blood red, paints the sky a multitude of colors. While taking in this gorgeous sight you notice a woman walking along the beach silhouetted in a melancholy mood. You see your chance to obtain the perfect frame and then move to a more strategic position. You locate an area with the best possible angle. You then grasp your weapon of choice and, while frantically fingering the many focusing devices, you now have the woman in your sights. You aim carefully and pull the trigger. You realize that you have committed the perfect crime; capturing the perfect image, containing a similar mood and feeling, on a frame of film. You then realize that you're not sure if you used black and white or color film. To most individuals the type of film is unimportant, but to photographers the type of film used could mean the difference between an OK picture and a great photograph. Photography should be more than appealing to the eye. It should also hold a mood or feeling. In the case mentioned above, color film would have been the best choice. The many majestic colors in the scene set the romantic feeling and the silhouette of the woman alone enhances her melancholy mood. Another example of feelings and mood captured on color film might be a romantic Fall afternoon, because of the multicolor leaves that Fall brings. To put it simply, if a feeling or mood is mainly in the color of the scene then color film is your best choice. Black and white film is similar to color in the aspect that it can also capture a mood or feeling. The obvious difference is that color is absent so holding a mood or feeling expressed is prominently on an individual item or expression within the content of the photograph. If you were to use black and white film in the story above, the mood and feeling would be the same except that the item that you would notice first would be the woman and not the sunset. The dominate colors of the sunset would overpower the woman in the silhouette, loosing her completely. In closing, I hope that this has helped you understand the difference between color and black and white film, other than the obvious. Everyone is an amateur photographer inside. Just remember that "practice makes perfect", so get trigger happy and shoot a friend today.

An origianl written by Kim Measells

With Drink In Hand

With drink in hand, I enter the room. No one looks up except for you. Our eyes meet for a brief moment, and your attention is drawn back to the conversation with the group of which you are seated. My eyes fall to the steps before me as I make my way through the crowded room. Greeting unknown people with the meeting of eyes and a nod of my head. "Good evening." I reply as I slowly pass each person by.

With drink in hand, I arrive at the buffet and view the lovely array. Then realize that I feel no hunger for food. What I crave is the sustenance from another. I swirl my drink to give it a mix and as I turn I see you again. Our eyes seemed to lock with a knowing of souls. I cannot help but wonder what thoughts your mind holds. I feel a bit frozen as again an interruption pulls our eyes to part again.

With drink in hand, a person I should know begins to speak to me. Striking up meaningless conversation that others seem to enjoy. I, however, am overwhelmingly bored. My thoughts turn toward you. The one whose eyes I wish to swim into. The one who sees through this skin that holds my heart within. The only one who seemed interested that I was coming in.

With drink in hand, I escape the low mutter. The balcony holds my piece away from the others. Allowing my thoughts to wonder further into you. I ask myself if you felt the feeling I am feeling too? Was it I who attracted your attention, or just a reaction to the movement as I entered. Did you hold me in your stare because I could not break away? Or was there something there inside of you beckoning?

With drink in hand, my thoughts are silenced as a star shoots by in the grand sky before me. I am slightly startled by a soft gasp of aw that came from behind me. You came from behind and stood beside me. "Beautiful" you said. "Oh yes, very beautiful" I replied without even looking at the sky. You softly tuned your head to the side and smiled. "Would you like another drink?" you ask. "Oh yes", I reply, and sat the drink in my hand aside.

SSB 10/27/05
For Sweets.
An origianl written by Kim Measells

A Wet Dream

Before reading...click on the link: http://www.myspace.com/ashleymcbryde and select the song "Come Tomorrow" so that it will play in the background while you read about....

A Wet Dream.

It has been a long day full of lazy laughter after deep discussion of silly things, a lot of cold alcoholic beverages, hot summer sun that darkens our skin as we lounge beside the refreshing cool blue pool.We are silenced only by the, aw, of a breath taking sun set. Our friendship has grown stronger this day. We have learned so much about each other. There is a mutual feeling of closeness though we do not discuss it, there is no need to, and both of us feel this from each other. Warmer than the afternoon sun is this feeling. Night has slowly risen from the dusk, as we sit silently listening to the sounds of crickets discussing the day they have had. We both sigh with mutual contentment of the comfortable silence between us. I feel as though there is a tug to my left and I slowly look over to find your eyes. You are lit only by the light of the glimmering pool and the reflection of the full moon that now hangs above us in the sky. As if I were star gazing, I find myself deep with in your eyes. There is a soft yet primal feel that is extremely sensual. A small smile appears on my face as if I am in approval of this feeling we are sharing in this quiet moment, just you and I, alone, together. You then stand and express the need to take a dip to cool off. I smile widely and my eyes follow you as you walk into the water. Its light takes you over with each step. You plunge yourself under and swim to the far end of the pool. As you surface in front of the pool light I can not pull my eyes from you and your body now in silhouette. I am so over taken by the beauty before me that I sit up from my lounge and I feel the face of want and desire over come me. I am not aware that you can see my expression and stance change, but you do. I feel your eyes locked with mine. At that moment we almost dare each other to step beyond the bond of friendship to lovers. Slowly you swim back toward me. You are still only a vision in dark shadows as you continue to move towards me. The shape of your well defined body causes my heart to pump fast within my chest. With anticipation and question I ask "Am I dreaming or is this real?" You stay silent as your ora of sensuality flows from you like the cool water from the warm curves of your body. As you step from the pool I now realize that you have removed your bathing suit. I feel my body shutter with little earth quakes and say "This has got to be a dream." Now close enough to touch, you place your hands on my face and lean into my ear. "This is no dream." I remove my clothing so that we may feel each others flesh and our heart begin to beat as one as you cover me with only you. We make love under the lunar and star lit heavens, until we lovingly embrace the beauty of a majestic sunrise. We rise together to find refuge behind doors for when sweet slumber over comes us and our weakened bodies we wish that our limbs be intertwined and our hearts as close to each other as we feel in our souls core.

7/31/05 --Posted by SSB to wisperin blue 7:38:00 PM
An origianl written by Kim Measells

...Try, try again...?

Most everyone is familiar with the phrase, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

This might be true with some areas of life like sports, activities, and games. "Practice makes perfect." flows right in with this philosophy, but do these philosophies ring true for ALL areas of life including love relationships?

The first time I fell in love I just knew it was forever. For five years, on and off, we tried to make our love and relationship work. I kept breaking us up because of lies, lack of communication, lack of trust, alcoholism, and finally drug abuse. I did not feel that I could trust this person to share my life with so I ended it. Each and every time I ended the relationship only to see them get "better" and my love returned for them. I missed them so much I felt like I could not breath. Over the off and on years I was finally hurt so many times by this person until my love was finally dead for them. I did not succeed at first and I tried again and again just to end up with dead love. I realize that the problems were not all mine, though I was made to feel that it was all, my fault. Only after four years of no talking and contact between us we are finally able to be friends. I know that I can never be in a relationship with this person again, but as friends, this seems doable now. I even helped my ex to warm up to another person I thought would be a good match for them. They are now together and seem happy. I am very glad for them both.

Is it this way for all love relationships?

I have felt an even stronger love for another. We met some years ago through a mutual friend. I did not think much about them at first, but then we introduced our selves. A firm handshake and eye to eye contact, at that moment I felt lightning strike my soul. I have never felt a connection so strong as I had at that moment. They were kind of involved with another, and though I made a strong impression I knew I could not impose. I then got involved in a relationship with another. I always wanted to be around the one I felt the strong connection with. I just knew that I was not as interesting to them as they were to me. For years we were friends. I ended my relationship and the connection drew me to this person I just knew was "THE ONE". The soul mate everyone searches for. We talked all night and seemed to have so much in common. Once we were in a relationship, their thoughts seemed to linger with their experiences with lost ex's. That seemed to be all they wanted to talk about. I delbt with it, but damn, I wanted to talk about US not them. They also enjoyed flirting with just about everyone as well. This really tapped into my trust issues. They seem to be a roller coaster and I seem to be a long, flat stretch of highway.

Can a roller coaster and a flat highway learn to live happily together? We tried and tried over and over again. I was resistant to therapy at that time. I ended the relationship. I also stopped all communication and contact because I could not deal with the extreme love hate relationship we had between us. We had a strong sexual attraction for each other. This caused extreme sexual tension for us both, and seemed that if we were not sexually involved sexually, we fought like two cats. I could not deal with the thought of them being sexual with another in any way shape or form. They just seemed to sense this and continued to do things that made me feel inadequate. We have not been in contact for over a year now. Could we be friends again? I know I still feel the sexual, mental, and emotional connection and strong love for the roller coaster even though we have had zero contact all this time. I cannot help but wonder, what if. What would happen if we tried again? Would we end up back at square one? Have we both changed and grown enough to be able to be in a healthy relationship? I know that I have felt a hole, an emptiness since we cut contact. They seem to feel the same even though they are engaged to another. I have met others that I felt an attraction for, but just did not seem near as strong as the one I have with this roller coaster. As long as the roller coaster is engaged I will not attempt any form of contact with them. I do not wish to be the reason they break up. This I know for a fact.

Did I learn a lesson from my first relationship?

If you both try and try but all you have is pain and hurt that eventually kills the love that was there. Should you keep trying or is this just some form of self-mutilation?

Your input and experiences on this topic would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
SSB

9/09/2005 09:45:00 AM

The answers to most of my questions posted above is NO.
Thanks to everyone who read and replied to this post.
You are truley my best friends!

Happy New Year!!! I hope...LOL
SSB

An origianl written by Kim Measells

The Sphinx

The Sphinx is a composite beast with a woman's face and eagle's wings on a lion's body. It corresponds to the Sun and to the elements of earth and air. Call upon the Sphinx for sex, magic, amorousness, and riddles. Sphinx (the Throttler) is an assyrian calendar goddess who devours men/women when they fail to correctly answer her riddles. Sands of Time are collected from between the paws of the Sphinx and can be used to increase longevity.
(quoted from The Wicca Handbook by Eileen Holland)